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From M.E. to You: Just have the conversation

By Megan Howe | A wise teacher and friend once told me, “The anxiety you build up about having a conversation is usually worse, than the conversation itself.” When I received this little gem of advice, I was experiencing troubles in my relationship with a close friend. My friend and I had gone a week without speaking and although I knew we needed to talk, I felt sick to my stomach with anxiety when I thought about speaking to her. I wanted to share my feelings and be heard. I also wanted the opportunity to listen, to hear my friend’s real feelings, and work together to clear the air.

In the days leading up to us actually having a conversation, I spent countless hours creating full length movie versions, of how this talk could play out. All in my head, of course… I envisioned myself failing miserably when I tried to speak and I imagined my friend simply walking away from me as I began to share, which only caused me to believe maybe, just maybe what I had to say wasn’t important.

It was all I was thinking about. Nearly everything reminded me of my friend and I wanted so badly to talk, yet couldn’t bring myself to start the conversation. I felt confused and somewhat lost. I took a deep breathe and reached to my teacher for support.

She said, “Megan, have the conversation. No matter how hard it may seem, I promise having the conversation will be easier than not having one.”

She was right.

I finally called my friend and asked her out for coffee. We kept it short and simple. We shared where we had wronged one another, forgave, and acknowledged each other for showing up and making time to create balance in our relationship. Balance, in any relationship, is important and necessary.

Practicing this way of being has allowed us to experience genuine connection, it has enabled us to grow closer, and, most importantly, create FUN!

Looking back on that situation, it is easy to see how much time I had spent living in my head. Many days I wasted, imagining how our conversation could go, instead of letting go and simply calling my friend. Having the conversation brought me back in my body and to the present moment. I no longer feel anxious and happiness comes naturally, as it had before.

I feel clear because I cleared drama and tension from an important relationship in my life. With that clarity, I now feel free to be clear in other relationships, and I am open to the possibility of whatever experience that may bring.

Now, I’d like to invite you to be open to the idea of having honest conversations and becoming more clear (kindly, of course) with people in your life, especially those you love. I guarantee you will generate a deeper connection with others, and overall, it makes everyone feel happier.

I leave you with some advice…

Before you speak…THINK.

T   is it true?
is it helpful?
I   is it inspiring?
N  is it necessary?
K  is it kind?

 

…from M.E. to You
Megan Howe:  From M.E. to YOU